April 11, 2025

I never imagined this would happen to me.
I thought this was somebody else’s story and not mine. But it happened to me and I want to share with you how I healed so that if you are suffering, you can heal, too.
One evening,
I sat on a chair, feeling tired and defeated. I held the back of my head and started massaging my scalp to relax. When my fingers reached the lower part of my head, I froze. Every cell in my body swallowed a breath in shock.
Where’s my hair?
My fingertips felt bare skin. I took a hand mirror, stood in front of a bathroom mirror, lifted my hair, and looked at the back of my head. There was a bare area right in the middle, above the hairline. It was so large that it measured 3″x2″, round at the bottom and pointing at the top.
I touched the bare skin in disbelief to see if what I was seeing was real. I stood there in shock and denial. But after a while, I accepted it.
Yes, I had lost my hair.
“Is it closing or advancing?” A question popped up. I looked at myself in the mirror to find the answer, but I was afraid of the latter. “Am I going to lose all my hair?” I was scared.
“I miss her.”
After staring at myself in the mirror and surrendering to reality, I told myself, “Heck, I will heal myself!”
I sat in my sacred space and connected to the energy of the bare area. Soon, a blue teardrop came to me and said, “I miss her.” “Miss who?” I asked but no answer.
Deep sadness and loneliness
She told me her name was Sanami (a small ocean wave). We conversed, and I listened to her sadness and loneliness. I felt so much compassion for her. However, I had to tell her she didn’t belong to me and that I chose to release her.
Thanking her and praying for her, I released her into the Universe. Watching her go, tears came out of my eyes, and I realized that the bare skin area was the shape of a teardrop.
I watched till I couldn’t see her anymore. I completed my healing session and went to bed, reassuring myself that I’d be okay. My hair would grow back.
Oh, no….
The following morning, Sanami came back!
This time, she was a happy, joyful, bouncing energy. Honestly, I felt a little resentful of her return because I thought her presence meant my chance of getting my hair back was in jeopardy. But, I accepted her and gave her a new name, “ai” (love), and changed her color to pink (love energy).
Starting that day, ai and I did everything together. We ate together, vented together, joked together, and laughed together.
I grew fond of her. She became such a precious being to me that I started to think I’d be okay if my hair didn’t come back.
But as I spent weeks and months with her, I noticed new hair started to grow little by little, closing the area from the outer line. It took a little over a year, but the area is now completely covered with hair and… ai is gone. I don’t sense her energy anymore.
“Disconnectedness”
Needing some clarity, I tapped into my Akashic Records and asked about the meaning of my experience with ai. “Disconnectedness” was the answer I received. This made perfect sense.
Autoimmune diseases such as alopecia are about our immune system attacking our healthy cells, thinking they are harmful invaders.
It finally dawned on me why Sanami said, “I miss her.” She was a part of me who got disconnected and was trying to tell me that I was experiencing a separation within myself.
With her appearance as alopecia, she helped me accept myself by accepting her as who she was. As I loved her, I learned to love myself.
Although the experience was scary, I am grateful for the lesson and what I was able to bring forth. ai gave me a profound opportunity to accept and love myself unconditionally.
How are you doing?
If you are suffering, please know that you are not alone. You don’t need to fight alone, and healing is always available for you. If you need to talk, I’m here to listen to you.
Thank you for reading my story.
You are always in my healing space.
Love yourself for who you are. You are perfectly imperfect.
Take care now.
With love and healing light,
aki